what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
