i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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