we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
