I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
