he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
