Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My life is pants optional.
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