He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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