Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
