are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
