just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
