She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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