im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
