Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
