I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
