everyone is single if you try hard enough
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
