adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
