i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
