I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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