Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
