it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize