She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize