i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Farmville is her only friend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
