did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
