If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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