Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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