so explain again why im purple
no
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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