Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
