there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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