Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
