rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
