From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
please come you make the beer taste better
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
