Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize