Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
