he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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