Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
