Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
