we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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