I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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