you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
