Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize