I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
