You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
