Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
