I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
