How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize