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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All the doctor said was why
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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