We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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