I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
