Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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