Dual....:-)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
