I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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