He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
