she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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