Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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