I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
