And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
