Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
