I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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