He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need water and some morals
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
