Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
