Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
