I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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